A Journey to Self Confidence by Serena Gardner
Serving as an AmeriCorps VISTA at The Women’s Entrepreneurial and Leadership Lab Women’s Business Center (WELL WBC), I am learning valuable lessons about seeking help and perseverance. I am a North Carolina native but spent time growing up in Portland, Oregon before making my way out to Missoula for college. I am a graduate of the University of Montana where I received a degree in psychology, a minor in global public health and a certification in global leadership. When I began my job hunt, I was overwhelmed by the job market’s vast opportunities but discouraged by the endless requirements for these “entry-level” positions. It was then I received an email about joining AmeriCorps VISTA. After some research, I realized this was a fantastic chance to serve my community, build and make connections and narrow down future employment options I might enjoy.
Entering my service year, I had a positive outlook despite some doubts about my ability to perform well at my service site due to my lack of expertise in anything business. My goal was to absorb knowledge from my colleagues and gain new skills upon arriving but my positivity and drive for accomplishing this quickly faded week after week. Upon my arrival at my service site, there was no WBC director and as everyone on the team worked remotely, I felt very lost with no onboarding, training, guidance or structure in place. For over three months, I struggled with feeling discouraged and lost, I even considered quitting. However, things turned around one day when a new WBC director was appointed. This led to significant improvement in communication efforts, planning and organizing and most importantly, structure. It felt like a small miracle.
This connects to my journey towards self-confidence as it all starts with my lack of knowledge and experience in the realm of business. I went my entire college education without any business or finance class and having my service site being the WBC, I questioned what I could bring to the table to better my service site which focuses on providing educational, experimental and entrepreneurial opportunities for women across Montana. To add to my self-doubt, I was tasked with becoming the social media manager for our various channels in January. At this point, I was just getting settled with a routine and expectations so having a new role thrown at me was nerve-racking; especially as I am not very active on my personal Instagram and Facebook. This new role fueled my self-doubt; I entered a rabbit hole of questioning my ability to be a valuable, contributing member to the team.
The feeling of not being qualified enough or that I didn’t belong was a tiring feeling I no longer wanted to experience. As I write this blog in March of 2023, I am happy to share that I feel more confident in my ability to perform at my service site thanks to several key factors. One of the most significant factors was having a WBC director; this changed my entire outlook on my service year regarding my confidence in doing work, as I now had a foundation, expectations and guidance to complete tasks accurately. I also got reminded by my mom that you have to start somewhere; nobody got to where they are without some mistakes or self-doubt. The important thing is to learn from those mistakes and take it as an opportunity for growth. This is something to this day I have to remind myself of, it’s easy to hone in on the mistakes made and what could be done differently but I think self-confidence is an aspect of personal and professional growth. It helps enable one to make tough decisions, take risks and persevere.
My growth in confidence can be connected to asking questions and working through my flawed logic that making a mistake qualifies me as unfit for the job. It’s a process that still needs work but I am improving weekly. I am thankful for my support system of friends in Missoula, my family and wonderful coworkers who have shared their fears, doubts and uncertainties with me in an effort to show that I am not alone. I am thankful for the challenging beginning I had at my service site, as it has allowed me to believe in myself more, gaining confidence I was lacking in years prior.