DON’T UNDERESTIMATE US: THE POWER OF TEEN GIRLS BY CLARA MOSER

August 19, 2019

This summer I had the opportunity to continue my work with the YWCA’s GUTS (Girls Using Their Strength) program as a Summer Adventure Leader. On the Summer Adventure trips middle and high-school aged girls and gender diverse youth explore the backcountry of Montana on week-long backpacking trips. During the trips participants engage in activities that delve into issues around body image, healthy relationships, gender identity, sexuality, and activism. The goal of these trips are not only to provide participants with a basic knowledge of backpacking, but also to develop leadership skills and social-emotional well being in an active and supportive environment.

Last week, I served as a leader on a seven day backpacking trip with ten high-school aged girls on the Flathead Reservation. That’s right — seven whole days in the backcountry with ten teenagers and no showers, no toilets, and no cell phone service for miles.

The trip was a reminder of my own capacity to grow and learn, and of the power I sometimes forget that I house in my legs, arms, and heart. A power that allows me to haul heavy loads up mountains while singing and laughing, and to connect with girls ten years younger than myself.

I knew already that teenage girls are powerhouses of creativity, empathy, and unabashed joy, but this trip reminded me of the power and strength that can be found in the goofiness of girlhood and in close-knit bonds that young people form with one another.

Whether it comes from cracking each other up over the dinner of beans and rice that made everyone run off into the woods to poop IMMEDIATELY, or from stopping during a challenging hike to support a group member who is panicked and out of breath, these girls put their whole selves into creating a momentary family of support and love.

On our van rides to new locations  I acted as the DJ; fielding requests for every kind of music under the sun– from Disney’s “Tangled” to (yes, you guessed it) Old Town Road by Lil Nas X and, at my insistence, a very important group introduction to  TLC and Destiny’s Child.

Each night we gathered in a closing circle to discuss the trials and triumphs of the day. The girls had “courage beads” that they could give to one other group member to show their appreciation for something that happened over the course of the day. During these evening circles I was amazed by the vulnerability each girl would show in their willingness to discuss their personal struggles. I was careful to notice if the beads were repeatedly given to the same person or used to exclude anyone, but instead they surprised me by giving “courage beads” to new people each night just for the comfort of sharing a laugh, having a good conversation, or making it through a tough day.

Our group came from a range of different economic backgrounds, various living situations and life experiences over the course of their 14-15 years. In response to these differences the girls came together and cared for each other with tenderness, laughter, and a great sense of empathy. I had thought that a major challenge on the trip would be working with the group to bridge divisions, but the girls began that work themselves before I or the other leaders had to step in. They did not shy away from difficult conversations, but rather asked questions of one another and made a conscious effort to include everyone into all activities and conversations.

While laying in my sleeping bag one night I thought to myself, “this is what community accountability and responsibility can look like.” There were tough moments; plenty of tears and squabbles, yet a fierce dedication within the group to work through these hardships together. They made sure to check in with one another every day with attentive and open hearts.

There is something so special about that time in life right before adulthood when your emotions are raw and relationships feel especially fragile. Your relationships with others are what begin to help you make sense of yourself as an individual within a collective. I feel so fortunate to have been with these girls for a week-long journey and to have witnessed them work together through their struggles. Teen girls are a force to be reckoned with.