On July 18^th, 2020, my dusty and unnervingly noisy Subaru Outback screeched its way through the winding Gallatin Canyon, popping out into the flat bowl where Bozeman, Montana sits. The tranquility of the Gallatin River starkly contrasts with the engine breaks of semis with wide cattle eyes peeping out of their small cages and the accelerations of big trucks and cars, zooming through to their next destination. The noises reverberate throughout the canyon, zig zagging across the highway and up the rocky walls. Climbers dot the vertical granite while fishers, rafters and hikers move across the horizontal plane of the river or trail. Serenity, crowds, nature, infrastructure- a complexity of stimulants swirl around my mind. The canyon ends and I continue my drive through the gas stations, cafes and bars of Four Corners, MT, through the sprawl of suburbia, and towards the giant white M overlooking Bozeman on the foothills of the Bridger Mountains.

Bozeman feels familiar to my hometown of Durango, CO in some ways. It is full of outdoor enthusiasts of all disciplines and boasts farming and ranching pride. There is still a hometown enthusiasm with a small-town newspaper where high school athletes could even make the front page.  A new town, a new state, no friends, a new job, an unfamiliar life direction. The strains of the unfamiliar overwhelm these veins of familiarity. Through these complex and opposing feelings of overwhelm, sadness, excitement and unknowing, I begin my year of service with Greater Gallatin United Way.

My work as a kidsLINK VISTA begins two and a half weeks before the Bozeman School District School Board meeting, where board members decide the fate of students and families for the next semester. The school board meeting lasts until the wee hours of Tuesday August 11^th and its conclusions dictate a cascade of impossible decisions for families and lay the groundwork for a tumultuous and dynamic start to service.

Bozeman School District voted to return to a blended model, with students last name A-L going to school Mondays and Tuesdays and M-Z going Thursdays and Fridays. Wednesday is a cleaning day. While maybe this idea sounds good in theory (spacing out students and increasing sanitation) the fallout of this schedule sheds light on the impossibility of the current situation. Schools provide not only an education, but a consistent schedule, a safe place to be, and various resources like food, nurse visits, and friends. Even before the pandemic, the lack of a public system for children ages 0-5 left parents to fend for themselves in a world of expensive childcare that cannot meet the comprehensive needs of families. Now, the choice is even worse. If families cannot afford tutors for their kids fulltime, or on the days the school is not in session, how do they best support their family financially and their child’s education? It is impossible to do both. Even if parents can find a patchwork of childcare, it requires a financial investment and the using different providers defeats the purpose of doing a blended school schedule in the first place.

Before taking this VISTA position, it is safe to say I had never thought about the childcare crisis. And now, I see the impact of disparate services on families every day, and it is a true crisis. Serving during a pandemic is exhausting and trying to help craft a solution to an impossible problem is depleting. While I cannot be certain Greater Gallatin United Way will find the perfect answer, we will try our best. And sometimes this just has to be good enough.