Knightian Uncertainty: Rolling the Hard Six 

“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance. It is the illusion of knowledge.” ― Stephen Hawking.

As we reached the midway point in the COVID19 hysteria that gripped the nation, (and the world at large), mandatory quarantines left all of us with lots of extra time on our hands. Like many around me, my idle mind led me to take a long hard look at where my life was going. I began asking myself such questions as: Will this pandemic ever end? What will life be like in the aftermath? What will the new normal look like? Will I still be able to add value to my undertakings making positive contributions and a difference in this rapidly changing global reality?

During this time period, one thing remained clear. Giving back to the greater community has always been a way of life for me. Initially, I was going to stay put, working in my own community, until I read MT Compact’s AmeriCorps position description. I was hooked. By the time the nation slipped into COVID19 decline, I was looking for something different, a chance to serve away from the comforts of the all too familiar. It was in that spirit that I applied to MT Compact. However, when I told people that I was considering moving to Montana to serve in a rural community some of them, in a light-hearted tone of disbelief, began questioning me on this move. “Are you serious?” they asked. “What are you going to do way out there?” As the conversation progressed, they had a great time making fun of my comments. One jokingly asked, “did you lose your mind during the pandemic?” To which I replied, No, I didn’t lose my mind, I just changed it.

And with that, I began conducting my research in order to more effectively address bucolic issues in Montana. I remember thinking that this research effort would enable me to acclimate to this new environment, and just hit the ground running.

To support this mentality, I drew from the fact that I lived all over the United States, worked in rural communities, and visited over a dozen nations. I’ve come from hither and yon and now I will be serving in the great state of Montana, went my thinking. What could possibly go wrong? I asked myself.

Little did I know that I’d be getting the answer to that question real soon, becoming keenly aware of the concept of genuine Knightian Uncertainty (or the fundamental degree of ignorance, limits to knowledge, and the essential unpredictability of future events), and how each would factor into my early experiences. In other words, since I failed to take into account the dramatic characteristics of urban, suburban, and national, versus rural environments, as well as the stark differences that existed between visiting, working in, and actually living in a specific community, I was setting myself up for a very interesting ride.

Oblivious to this (at the time), I was all in. So, as soon as my MAC acceptance letter arrived, I signed it and hopped on the first thing smokin. I was on my way to Montana. Upon arriving and settling into my new community, I soon began to realize that I had brought more baggage along with me than what I strategically packed for this trip. This baggage took the form of misinformation, myopic opinions about the types of people I’d meet here, and stereotypes about the West and western culture. Looking back, it’s little wonder that I experienced a level of culture shock and wanted to recoil into my comfort zone early last year.

In the gap between stimulus and response lies an opportunity – a proverbial “fork in the road” where I could choose to hold on to all of this excess baggage and miss out on opportunities to connect, learn, grow, and possibly sabotage my entire experience, or I could choose to simply put aside any and all situational misgivings about the population, keep an open mind, and just put my best foot forward to see what happens. I chose the latter, using every opportunity possible to try to get to know members of this new community. In between work duties, I spoke to as many site staff personnel, local residents, and students as possible.

Now that I am more settled here, I can clearly see how my information and impressions about life in Montana that came from internet research, TV shows and mainstream media was limited at best, and just wrong or misleading, at worse. Some of those impressions or misconceptions included the belief/suspicion that everyone carried a gun even when doing mundane things like shopping, everyone rode horses or were cowboys/girls, that the people would be territorial, intolerant, and conservative, angry racists, and the silliest of all — that I’d have to always be on the lookout for bears 24/7.

It is my considered opinion that TV, the internet alone, and the popular press are terrible methods to rely on in an effort to learn about a people. All too often these secondary and tertiary sources of information are littered with bias (or hidden agendas), misinformation, incomplete or omitted data, and an absence of wider perspectives, etc. I suppose it’s a genuine sign of personal growth that I realize all of these things now, can laugh about it, and even be a little embarrassed by some of the notions that I picked up while conducting all of my research in absentia.

Mindsight: The Black Swan Paradox

“If someone despises me. That’s their problem. Mine: not to do or say anything deserving of contempt. Someone hates me. Their problem. Mine: to be patient and cheerful with everyone, including them.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.

The Black Swan Paradox occurs in closed systems (small towns, homogenous communities or societies, mindsets: among anyone who is not used to certain types of stimuli – a black swan for example). If such individuals, (who, collectively, tend to be narrow-minded in their beliefs, ignorant about the greater world, and dogmatic in their adherence to long held assumptions), have never seen a black swan they may adhere to the believe that black swans do not exist. As such, they may consciously and sub-consciously look for information or evidence which confirms/supports this belief while filtering out that which does not. So, should they suddenly see a black swan, they may be shocked, surprised, and even a little traumatized by the sight of something which they are not used to seeing.

As it relates to my host city, I wish I could say that the Black Swan Paradox was just an academic notion and that I didn’t encounter people who were intolerant, angry, racist and/or closed-minded. Unfortunately, I have. It wasn’t too long after arriving here that I began noticing the stares, glares, shock, revulsion, and the fear in the eyes of people at the supermarket, at a museum, while crossing the street, etc. It was the all too familiar facial expressions, body language, microaggressions, and other forms of nonverbal communication I encounter when I travel inside or outside the country. All too often, I am an astonishment among nations when I travel abroad, and a pronoun back home – from sea to shining sea.

That said, I am not naïve. Although the latest scientific research shows that, as a species, we are wired for connection, I have to always remind myself that not everyone values or demonstrates this need for connection in the same way. I realize that there will always be those among us who are closed-minded, hostile, or conditioned to just be hateful no matter where we go in the world.

It was clear how I perceived Montana residents upon arrival, but only they knew what they truly thought of me, BIPOC in general, or of anyone from outside their communities. We can never truly know what’s in the mind of another by simply observing. It’s a tightwire walk to be sure. Just like I “learned” about Montana through the internet, TV, the mainstream media and other modes which reinforced stereotypical characterizations, conveyed inaccurate or unbalanced information, I imagine that others use the same methods both intentionally or unwittingly to learn about people from different backgrounds or cultures.

In a state like Montana where Black people make up less than 1% of the population, I imagine that most of what locals know about Black people comes from impressions gained through mass media (music, tv shows, movies, etc.), mainstream media, and from family members, colleagues and other individuals who probably know even less than the person in question does about people from other cultures or backgrounds.

To be clear, rather than being unilaterally rejected, I’ve had more people stop and talk to me, smile at me, blow their horns and wave at me by far, than anything else during my day-to-day life here. For the most part, the people I’ve encountered here have been kind, friendly, and just trying to live their best lives.

Upon further reflection, I realized that short of meeting or having friends from a certain country or background, keeping an open mind when traveling to a new environment is one of the best ways to settle-in, learn, grow, and discover a new place, and truly learn about its inhabitants.

In the end, when it comes to learning new things, experiencing different cultures or acclimating to a new environment, sometimes you just have to “roll the hard 6” – challenging your fears, stepping outside your comfort zone, visiting places, observing, asking good questions and getting to know the people and/or your surroundings in order to have a more balanced view of what life is like.

Interpersonal Neurobiology: Finding Myself Through Service

“Humans are social creatures with a propensity to connect with others and form relationships. Our brains and bodies are wired for empathy, cooperation, generosity, and connection. Our connections form the rhythms of our days, the work that we do, and how we feel about ourselves—they add meaning to our lives.” — Dr. Summer Allen.

Serving others makes me happier, allowing me to have a more productive, meaningful and satisfying life. Even the science seems to back this up. One study after another confirms the reality that serving enriches our lives, gives our lives a deeper sense of purpose, improves our overall health and simply makes us happier.

The science shows that we are wired for connection. Connecting with others in a positive, mutually beneficial fashion in order to build capacity, resolve an issue, or to simply lend a hand, is a deeply satisfying and transformational activity which provides opportunities for me to make a direct contribution to situations crying out for intervention. It also allows me to learn about and respect other cultures, to have a better understanding of situations or conditions that are normally outside of my experiences, and to develop a deep sense of connection with humanity at large.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., once said, “everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

As a volunteer, it feels wonderful to be a part of the solution rather than an inactive bystander. In my opinion, living in service to others looms as one of the most important and practical solutions for responding to many of our most pressing yet, unaddressed social ills. I enter voluntary assignments looking for ways to serve as opposed to something in return.

However, the rewards just keep on coming ranging from smiles to the stunning transformations I witness within the populations I am serving as area residents begin to work together rebuilding their lives, families, careers or communities. It’s just like Gandhi said, “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”